Three ways to build better rapport with customers

You've seen the half-hearted attempts at rapport.

Employees say "welcome" with the enthusiasm of gray paint. They use your name like they're working through a checklist. (They are.)

It feels so transactional.

Rapport is essential to customer service. But here's the kicker—it has to be authentic. Asking a customer, "How's your day going so far?" with the sincerity of a robot can hurt the rapport you're trying to build.

So what makes it real?

I posed this question on LinkedIn, and it was a stumper. Most gave answers like, "You know it when you see it."

That's not much to go on. Try training an employee by telling them, “I can’t tell you exactly how to do it, but you’ll know it if you’re doing it right.”

You need to get much more specific if you want your employees to build authentic rapport. This guide can help.

What is customer rapport?

Let's start with a definition of rapport so we're all on the same page. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines rapport this way:

1. a friendly, harmonious relationship

2. especially: a relationship characterized by agreement, mutual understanding, or empathy that makes communication possible or easy

Harmony is the foundation of customer service. You want customers to like you. And, you'd much prefer to like them back.

Rapport, by definition, makes communication easy. You can better understand their needs and customers are more accepting of your ideas.

It's also tied to better service outcomes. In one study of fast food chains, friendly employees helped compensate for long wait times and poor order accuracy.

What makes rapport genuine?

Authentic rapport goes beyond just acting out a corporate-mandated service script. It is an earnest attempt to create a friendly, harmonious connection with someone else.

Three things in particular help you establish real rapport.

Step 1: Smile with your eyes

There's a world of difference between a fake, forced smile and a real one. The fake smile communicates, "I have to be nice to you," while the real smile shares, "I'm genuinely happy to see you."

The eyes are a marker of a genuine smile.

The 19th-century scientist, Guillaume-Benjamin-Amand Duchenne de Boulogne discovered that facial muscles are connected to authentic smiles. Particularly, those around the eyes.

Today, genuine smiles are called "Duchenne smiles" after Duchenne's pioneering work.

Later, psychologist Paul Ekman mapped these facial movements and identified the specific markers of genuine and fake smiles:

• the cheeks are pulled up and the skin below the eye may bag or bulge

• the lower eyelid moves up and crows feet wrinkles may appear

• the skin above the eye is pulled slightly down and inwards

On the other hand, a fake smile might look identical at the mouth, but doesn't feature the same muscle movement around the eyes.

Do you think you can spot a fake smile from a real one? Test your skills here.

Authentic smiles carry tremendous power. They can be contagious, and positively affect the moods of others. You've probably experienced this when a stranger smiled at you and you reflexively smiled back.

Step 2: Use consistent body language

The same words, said differently, can communicate very different messages.

Saying, "Hello" in a robotic monotone while frowning communicates unfriendliness or disinterest, even though the word itself is a common greeting.

On the other hand, a "Hello" delivered with a genuine smile, a warm tone of voice, and a wave instantly communicates friendliness and welcoming.

This makes it essential for our tone and body language to send the same friendly signals that we're trying to communicate with our words.

A psychologist named Albert Mehrabian conducted a series of experiments to show the impact of our words, tone, and body language on communicating emotions.

Published in his book, Silent Messages, Mehrabian's research revealed that body language carries the most weight when our words, tone, and body language send conflicting messages.

He estimated how much each contributed to likability when the words, tone, and body language didn’t match:

• 55% body language

• 38% tone of voice

• 7% words

These percentages have since been mischaracterized as holding true for all forms of communication, but that myth is a different story.

Mehrabian’s research explains why scripted rapport often falls flat. The employee might say the right words, but the customer won't believe them if those words are delivered with absolutely no feeling or intent.

If you want to make a customer feel welcome, you have to go beyond the words you use:

1. Start with a smile. That influences your tone.

2. Use open, friendly body language, such as a wave.

3. Increase the pitch and dynamics in your voice to convey warmth.

Step 3: Demonstrate interest

Rapport, by definition, is a relationship characterized by "agreement, mutual understanding, or empathy." In other words, you actually have to care about what the other person is thinking and feeling.

The best way to demonstrate true caring is to take an interest in your customer.

I learned this lesson the hard way when I was a teenager working in a clothing store. "How are you today?" quickly became my go-to customer greeting until a customer went off script with her reply.

"I'm terrible."

It was unexpected. I must have looked stunned, because the customer followed up with, "Well, you asked!"

Indeed, I did. From that day forward, I resolved to care about the questions I asked, even if it was something as innocuous as "How are you today?"

Of course, you can ask your customers better questions than that. Use the Five Question Technique to come up with a list of question that will capture your customer's attention, break the ice, and help you discover more about them.

Conclusion

The ultimate measure of rapport is your customer's reaction.

• Do they return your smile or become stone-faced?

• Does their body language relax or become tense?

• Do their words and tone indicate enjoyment or are they guarded?

The goal is a smiling, relaxed customer who is enjoying themselves. That's the person who will be more open to your ideas and feel better about their experience.

You're tempted to think this is obvious. But the simple fact is employees at many companies aren't attempting to build genuine rapport.

Like any customer service skill, you have to put in the work to get better.

How to build better customer relationships by following up

Paul Harvey was on the radio in my house a lot when I was a kid.

Harvey was famous for a segment called "the rest of the story" where he shared a forgotten story or little-known fact about a famous person or event. Each ended with with a surprise twist and his famous phrase, "And now you know... the rest of the story!"

We often miss the rest of the story when we interact with customers.

• Did the solution work?

• Did the customer succeed?

• Are they happy with how things turned out?

Surveys sometimes capture some of the story, but often anonymously or without all the interesting details. When you care about a customer, you want to know what really happened.

Friendly follow-up is one way to learn the rest of your customer's story. It can help you build stronger relationships and identify additional opportunities to serve.

Here's how to do it.

When to give customers a friendly follow-up

The best time to follow up with a customer is right after a critical moment in their customer journey where what happens next can determine success or failure.

My wife, Sally, and I recently had solar installed on our home by Stellar Solar. Friendly follow-up is one of the reasons the company has been voted the best solar company in San Diego County for five years in a row.

Our sales person, Dave Gersz, did an amazing job of following up throughout the installation process.

There were a couple of very minor hiccups along the way, but Gersz's check-in calls allowed him to address any small issues immediately before they became big ones. They also assured us everything was on track.

Our installation was very smooth as a result.

Take a moment to determine when it makes sense and under what circumstances you should follow up with your customers. Here are a few examples:

• An important delivery

• A resolution to a challenging problem

• A milestone in a big project

How to follow up with customers

There's no single best way to follow up with customers. Try to pick the method that's most appropriate to the situation and best matches what you know about your customer's preferences.

Generally speaking, a call or text is better than an email because it’s more personal and urgent.

When I experienced difficulty getting a furniture delivery scheduled, I communicated with a supervisor via both phone and email. However, she called me to follow up on the day of the delivery.

It was a good thing she called, too. The furniture had arrived damaged and now I needed her help getting it replaced. We were able to work out the details over the phone.

There are times when an email is more appropriate. For instance, if all of your previous correspondence was via email or you are following-up about a relatively minor issue.

I also like email to send additional details, such as sending customers step-by-step instructions.

How to remember to follow up with customers

This can be the biggest challenge for some customer service professionals. It's hard to keep an important customer top of mind when you serve hundreds of other people during the week.

Setting a reminder is one easy way to do it. There are a few places you can do this:

• A customer relationship management (CRM) system.

• Your calendar.

• A project management system.

Some follow-ups can be automated.

For example, I've set automated follow-ups for my free Customer Service Tip of the Week newsletter. Subscribers get a follow-up email from me at several milestones:

• When they subscribe

• After three months

• After six months

• After one year

Each email contains a helpful suggestion or reminder. It also contains my contact information so subscribers can easily reach me if they have a question, comment, or some feedback.

These automations help me effectively support more than 10,000 subscribers without any additional staff.

Conclusion

You've likely experienced friendly follow-up when you've dined out at a restaurant.

The server comes to your table shortly after your meal arrives and asks, "How is everything?" Everything is great most of the time, but occasionally there's a small issue with the order, a drink needs refilling, or you want extra ketchup.

Friendly follow-up can work even if you don't work in a restaurant.

Use it to spot additional opportunities to serve or find a way to prevent small problems from becoming big ones. It is also a great way to build stronger relationships with important customers.

Here's one bonus tip I can share.

Some people ask customers to write an online review on Yelp or another platform right after the customer service transaction. I advise against this.

A better strategy is to use friendly follow-up to learn the rest of the customer's story before asking them to leave a review. This will help you solve any issues that could prevent you from earning a glowing recommendation.

Seven Easy Ways to Build Rapport with Customers

Rapport is one of the most important customer service skills.

It helps customers feel better about your service. They relax and are easier to serve because they like you. And friendly interactions help you sustain a positive outlook throughout your day.

Here's how rapport is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

a friendly, harmonious relationship

especially : a relationship characterized by agreement, mutual understanding, or empathy that makes communication possible or easy

So how exactly do you build rapport?

You probably know some of the basics: smile, be friendly, and make a little small talk when you get a chance. You might even try to learn and use customer names.

Want some more advanced skills?

More than 10,000 customer service professionals from around the world subscribe to my Customer Service Tip of the Week email. I asked subscribers and my LinkedIn followers to share their favorite techniques.

Here are seven of my favorite suggestions.

Talk about their interests

Patty, who works in circulation at a library, likes to get customers talking about themselves.

"I try to pick up on their interest, whether it is cooking, art or camping etc. People like to talk about themselves and this makes them a friend."

This is great technique because Patty is absolutely right—people feel comfortable talking about themselves. It helps put them at ease and makes you more likable when you show a genuine interest in something they care about.

Ask about their projects

Dawn is a customer service representative at a company that sells manufacturing equipment. Dawn's customers all make things, so Dawn likes to ask about their projects. This opens the door to getting customers to talk about themselves.

"Asking what my customers are making always starts a conversation. It gives the customer the feeling that I'm truly interested in them and I learn fascinating things about the people I serve."

This technique is similar to Patty's approach. In this case, Dawn is asking a work-related question that has two potentially good results. The first is it helps build rapport since people like to talk about themselves or what they're working on. The second benefit is it helps Dawn better understand the customer's needs.

Share something about yourself

Kristan, a Senior Director at a software company, breaks the ice by sharing a little about herself to encourage clients to open up about themselves. 

Kristan might ask a client, "Are you experiencing the same week I am?" during the busy back-to-school season.

"School is starting back this week so it's been crazy getting everyone out the door on time [in the morning]. Then I learn if they have children, a hobby if weather is great for gardening, or whatever topic and I try to infuse that in future conversations."

You can sometimes break the ice by doing something first, like sharing a little about yourself. What I really like about Kristan's example is it's simple without oversharing. Adding just a line or two such as, "It's been crazy getting everyone out the door on time," encourages the customer to share something about themselves.

Find common ground

Nekyna, a contact center training and quality assurance manager, suggests finding something you have in common with your customer.

This provides a natural way to initiate conversation and build rapport.

For instance, hearing children in the background while talking on the phone might prompt Nekyna to remark on that common ground. “Oh I hear you have children. Me too! What are their ages?”

Ask your customer for suggestions

Derrick, a sales manager for a hospitality company, likes to ask customers for suggestions when he knows he'll be traveling to their city.

"I typically discuss their favorite restaurant in their town. If I've been there it's an easy one. If not, I keep it on my list of places to visit. This works so well that when I went to a new town for a visit, the manager struck up a conversation with me and said 'Sarah said you would be coming to check us out.' This really helped cement the relationship and I typically have great meals, too!"

People like to be an expert, so asking customers for advice can make them feel comfortable and naturally inclined to want to help you.

Pay your customer a compliment

Rachael is a consultant who builds rapport with clients by paying them a genuine and sincere compliment.

"I go with fashion sometimes. Appreciating a customers fashion builds a foundation for an easy rapport with customers. It can be their eye glasses, wristwatch, or even their hair."

Some people may be concerned about crossing the line from paying someone a compliment to being unprofessional and flirtatious. 

Rachael's advice for avoiding this trap is to stick with something you know and make the appreciation genuine. For example, you might comment on a customer's watch if you are familiar with the brand or truly admire the style.

Ask about their name

Viraj is a corporate trainer who recommends asking customers about their first name.

"When I come across a name that is different or unique, I politely pop a question: ‘That’s a unique name—I am curious where it comes from or what it means.' More often than not you get great background for the name and get the person to open up."

I've often used a similar approach when signing one of my books after a speaking engagement. Whenever I encounter someone with an uncommon name, such as "Sunshine," I'll comment that they're the first Sunshine I've met that day. This often draws a laugh and opens the door for them to tell me a little more about themselves.

One word of caution here: it’s best to focus on first names. Asking about someone’s last name can be perceived as a rude inquiry about their ethnic background.

Take action to build rapport

Rapport is one of the four customer service skills that I think are most important for customer service professionals to have.

I encourage you to experiment with these suggestions. Find out which ones work naturally for you. Perhaps some even work better than others, while some might not be appropriate for your situation.

Keep in mind these seven suggestions are just the tip of the iceberg. There are many other ways to build rapport. Here’s a short video that explains more about why these skills are so important.

Connect rapport to outstanding service from Customer Service Foundations by Jeff Toister

How to Follow-up with Customers Like a Pro

Follow-up can be the difference between relationship-driven service or a mere transaction. 

A Customer Service Tip of the Week subscriber recently emailed to tell me she had stopped receiving the weekly tips. The subscriber wanted to know why they had stopped and how she could continue to receive them.

The challenge was everything looked fine on my end. Her email was correct in my email management system, her subscription was active, and the emails were being sent each week with no errors.

So I sent her my typical advice for situations like this: check your spam folder.

That's where the emails usually land when they're not being received. But I made a note to follow-up the next Monday to see if the issue was resolved. I'm glad I did.

This post looks at why customer follow-up is important, when you should follow-up, and how to remember to follow-up when you have a busy schedule like I do.

Why is follow-up important in customer service?

The benefits of following up with customers include confirming problems are resolved, preventing future issues, and building stronger relationships. Companies often gain far more customer feedback when they follow up after a service interaction.

Confirm Problems Are Resolved

Follow-up allows you to verify problems are resolved, and learn from situations when they aren't.

I followed up with my subscriber the following Monday. She had checked her spam folder and the emails weren't going there. So I dug deeper to do some more research.

That's when I learned my first response was incomplete. The other solution I should have suggested was to check with her company's IT department to make sure their email servers weren't blocking my email.

It turned out that was the issue. She planned to follow-up with her IT to see if it could be fixed. In the meantime, she subscribed using her personal email address so she could continue receiving the weekly emails.

I learned from this experience and updated the template I use to respond to this type of issue. Here’s the old template:

The new template includes a more complete set of options:

• Check your spam folder

• Check with your IT department

• Subscribe with another email address

I'm not alone with my inadequate email response.

A 2019 study from SuperOffice found that just 20 percent of companies fully answered a customer's question on the first reply. The same study discovered that only 3 percent of companies followed up after responding to a customer email. 

Without follow-up, it's difficult for these companies to learn from mistakes like I did.

Next Issue Prevention

Follow-up can help customers avoid future problems.

The Customer Service Tip of the Week subscriber mentioned that she was forwarding my weekly tips to her team. This meant that if she wasn't receiving them, her team wasn't receiving them, either.

So I forwarded her the current week's tip so she'd have it while we tried to figure out why she wasn't receiving the automated emails. I also sent her some additional advice on how to prevent people from accidentally unsubscribing her, since the "unsubscribe" link in each email remains active when you forward it.

When you reconnect with a customer, try to anticipate additional problems they might experience and offer solutions to those as well. This turns your service from reactive (responding to a problem) into proactive (preventing a problem).

Build Relationships

Follow-up allows you to build rapport with customers.

I followed up with the subscriber again the next week. She confirmed the email had come through via her personal email address, so our solution would work until her IT department could tell the company's email servers to allow my emails to go through.

It would have been great to solve the problem on the first try, but our email exchange helped us develop some rapport. She even bought a copy of my Customer Service Tip of the Week book!

Even a simple check-in message can let a customer know you care. It helps them see you as a person and not just the other end of a transaction.

When should you follow-up with a customer?

The timing depends on the situation. It could be immediately after you solve a problem, after a critical event, or after a designated period of time such as 24 hours.

Immediately

Some situations call for immediate follow-up, especially when you are serving a customer face-to-face. 

You can see a great example of immediate follow-up in this short video on tending to customers' emotional needs. Pay particular attention to the vignette that starts at the 2:45 mark, where the barista masterfully de-escalates an angry customer and then follows up to ensure she's happy.

Tending to emotional needs from Working with Upset Customers by Jeff Toister

After a Critical Event

There are times when it makes more sense to wait for something specific to happen before you follow up with a customer.

For example, my Customer Service Tip of the Week email is sent out each Monday. So it makes sense that I wait until after the next email is sent before following up with the subscriber again. 

When I worked in the catalog business, my team would run a report of any order that had been upgraded to express shipping. We figured any order sent express was particularly important to the customer. So we would track the order to ensure it showed delivered, and then call the customer to verify everything was okay.

Designated Period of Time

Sometimes, it doesn't make sense to follow-up immediately, but there isn't a specific event you're waiting for. In those situations, you can follow-up after a set period of time such as 24 hours.

I recently interviewed Andrew Gilliam, an ITS Service Desk Consultant at Western Kentucky University who increased his team's survey response rate by 370 percent. The secret was a small change in how follow-up emails were sent.

Customers received an automated follow-up email 24 hours after an issue was resolved. The old message focused on confirming the customer's service ticket was closed. The new message asked the customer for feedback on how the ticket was closed, and invited customers to reconnect if there was still a problem.

You can watch the full, 20 minute interview here.

How to remember to follow-up with customers

People often fail to follow up because they simply forget. An automated reminder can prompt you at the right time to reconnect with a customer.

Here are a few examples:

Use your CRM system. Many customer relationship management (CRM) systems allow you to set follow-up reminders. That's how I usually remember to follow up with someone. I go into my CRM and set a reminder as part of post-contact wrap-up work. The reminder is automatically triggered whenever I select, such as 24 hours later or the following Monday.

Use a reminder app. You can set reminders on your smartphone to trigger at specific times. For personal tasks that aren't appropriate to enter into my CRM, I like to use the "reminders" app on my Mac. The app automatically syncs with my iPhone, and I can use it to trigger reminders on specific dates and times.

Automate it. Some follow-up tasks can be automated. When people subscribe to my Customer Service Tip of the Week email, it automatically triggers an email that confirms the new subscription and provides some tips for getting the most out of the emails.

Take Action

Follow-up doesn't happen by accident. I encourage you think through your own follow-up process:

• What are situations where follow-up is appropriate?

• When should you follow up with your customers?

• How can you ensure follow-up happens?

You can test my follow-up process by subscribing to my Customer Service Tip of the Week email. If you do, you'll find an additional follow-up in my welcome email that I haven't mentioned here.